This one doesn't need to go on the Bucket List

I ate chicken feet today. Chicken Feet.

Let me back up. Today, I went on a business lunch with a few of my co-workers and some underwriters. We decided to eat Dim Sum, which is like a kooky Chinese drive-by buffet. You sit down, and a bajillion waitresses with carts come out offering already-prepared dishes consisting of anything you can imagine. Its a feeding frenzy. Potstickers, bau, dumplings, congee (look it up) and lotus leaf rice filled the table within minutes. The talk of the table, however, was the oft-mentioned but never actually confirmed menu item: Chicken Feet ("Phoenix Talons").

Of course there is always the jackass that has to place the order to keep things interesting.

For whatever reason (boredom, curiosity, pathalogical need for attention, etc.), I decided to try me some real chicken fingers.

Well, let me just say that the look exactly like they do in the picture above, except breaded and fried. As you would imagine, there is no meat on them so you are essentially eating the breading, sauce, and underlying boiled skin of poultry feets.

I respect other cultures, I really do. All jokes aside, the feet weren't that bad. This being said, I cannot figure out for the life of me WHY THE HELL a part of the chicken with no meat is a delicacy? What next, the browbone of swine?

I should point out, however, that Chicken Feet are also eaten in Jamacian, Peruvian, and South African Cultures. I am pleased to report that in Durban, South Africa, chicken feet, served with the damn head, comprises a dish known as "walkie talkies." Clever.

In closing, I will say that I left that B-Rated dim sum restaurant today a little more worldly, a little less cynical, and a lot more nauseas than I had entered.

Where is a dollar-menu Crispy McChicken when you need one?

Coffee Talk

Guy Friend of Mine: "Hey, wanna grab dinner, or a drink, or coffee sometime?"

Idiot Girl: "OMG I'd loooove to grab coffee! Let's do it!"

Chances are, what pisses you off about the exchange above is the girl's grammar. Perhaps its the fact that it occurred over Facebook.

Nope. Not me. You know what gets me steamed? The fact that she wants to grab coffee.

Everyone has pet peeves. Hell, I have about 30. I hate when girls stand in a corner and pose for pictures for the entire party, I loathe people who begin a sentence with, "I'm the kind of person who," and I really abhor when people ask, "where abouts?" when inquiring as to the specific neighborhood of Los Angeles that I live. My pet peeve with coffee dates, however, is perhaps one of my weirder-yet-stronger ones.

Why is it that many people think walking up to a Starbucks counter passes as a date worthy activity? What is this, high school? Stopping by the mall after? I heard friggin Pacific Sunwear is having a sale on Hurley. Gimme a break.

We are urban twenty-somethings in the throes of a Quarter Life Crisis. The last thing we need is self-inflicted awkwardness brought on by the inherent 20 minute time limitation of a coffee date. The idea of grabbing a cup of coffee for a date is just weird. Its like asking someone to come pump gas with you.

Ladies (especially you Silverlake "artists/waitresses)," put your big girl panties on and grab a drink, one with alcohol, if you don't want to commit to a meal of food (and for heaven's sake, put on a damn pair of high heels).

Discuss...