Monday, August 10, 2009

This one doesn't need to go on the Bucket List

I ate chicken feet today. Chicken Feet.

Let me back up. Today, I went on a business lunch with a few of my co-workers and some underwriters. We decided to eat Dim Sum, which is like a kooky Chinese drive-by buffet. You sit down, and a bajillion waitresses with carts come out offering already-prepared dishes consisting of anything you can imagine. Its a feeding frenzy. Potstickers, bau, dumplings, congee (look it up) and lotus leaf rice filled the table within minutes. The talk of the table, however, was the oft-mentioned but never actually confirmed menu item: Chicken Feet ("Phoenix Talons").

Of course there is always the jackass that has to place the order to keep things interesting.

For whatever reason (boredom, curiosity, pathalogical need for attention, etc.), I decided to try me some real chicken fingers.

Well, let me just say that the look exactly like they do in the picture above, except breaded and fried. As you would imagine, there is no meat on them so you are essentially eating the breading, sauce, and underlying boiled skin of poultry feets.

I respect other cultures, I really do. All jokes aside, the feet weren't that bad. This being said, I cannot figure out for the life of me WHY THE HELL a part of the chicken with no meat is a delicacy? What next, the browbone of swine?

I should point out, however, that Chicken Feet are also eaten in Jamacian, Peruvian, and South African Cultures. I am pleased to report that in Durban, South Africa, chicken feet, served with the damn head, comprises a dish known as "walkie talkies." Clever.

In closing, I will say that I left that B-Rated dim sum restaurant today a little more worldly, a little less cynical, and a lot more nauseas than I had entered.

Where is a dollar-menu Crispy McChicken when you need one?

Friday, August 7, 2009

Coffee Talk


Guy Friend of Mine: "Hey, wanna grab dinner, or a drink, or coffee sometime?"

Idiot Girl: "OMG I'd loooove to grab coffee! Let's do it!"

Chances are, what pisses you off about the exchange above is the girl's grammar. Perhaps its the fact that it occurred over Facebook.

Nope. Not me. You know what gets me steamed? The fact that she wants to grab coffee.

Everyone has pet peeves. Hell, I have about 30. I hate when girls stand in a corner and pose for pictures for the entire party, I loathe people who begin a sentence with, "I'm the kind of person who," and I really abhor when people ask, "where abouts?" when inquiring as to the specific neighborhood of Los Angeles that I live. My pet peeve with coffee dates, however, is perhaps one of my weirder-yet-stronger ones.

Why is it that many people think walking up to a Starbucks counter passes as a date worthy activity? What is this, high school? Stopping by the mall after? I heard friggin Pacific Sunwear is having a sale on Hurley. Gimme a break.

We are urban twenty-somethings in the throes of a Quarter Life Crisis. The last thing we need is self-inflicted awkwardness brought on by the inherent 20 minute time limitation of a coffee date. The idea of grabbing a cup of coffee for a date is just weird. Its like asking someone to come pump gas with you.

Ladies (especially you Silverlake "artists/waitresses)," put your big girl panties on and grab a drink, one with alcohol, if you don't want to commit to a meal of food (and for heaven's sake, put on a damn pair of high heels).

Discuss...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

My Friends are Geniuses


So I was surfing PerezHilton.com today and he did a post on our friend Adam Harvey! Adam is the significant other of our dear friend Heather Knight, who is a smokin' hot social roboticist, artist, and current employee of Jet Propulsion Lab in Los Angeles.

Adam invented a purse that flashes when it senses other camera flashes (using technology that cameras with flashes already use), thus destroying paparazzi photos. It has been getting more and more press lately, and this morning, the Queen of All Media himself gave a shout out.

Check out the Perez post here

Why can't I think of this shit? Best I'll ever do is come up with an insurance policy, um, offers some really good coverage? Damn.

Speaking of other genius things I wish I had thought of, Harry Potter was absolutely, #$@#! amazing. Best one so far. The actors have finally rose to the occasion and for the first time, become the Harry, Ron and Hermione I envision when reading my favorite books. What the hell am I gonna do until the 7th movie comes out?!?

Heather will probably put a robot on the moon by then.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Harry Potter e il Principe Mezzosangue?

To commmemorate opening day for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, I'm posting what is likely the greatest picture of Danny Celentano EVER.

Blog Faux pas?

Shit. Maybe I'm not that original after all.

Actually, I'm not original at all. Danny was the one who tried to help me come up with a name for my blog. He thought of Blog Cabin, and a few other honorable mentions:

1 - Blogwarts, which, despite the totally awesome Harry Potter reference, I neglected to choose because it sounds icky.

2 - Blogustus Gloop, which is genius, but might fly over the heads of those who do not immediately connect it with the beloved Willy Wonka character.

So, I decided on "Danielle's Blog Cabin."

I just found out "Blog Cabin" is being used. Adding insult to injury, I should point out that it is being shamelessy wasted by these clowns. Yes, the group comprised primarily of gay republicans (which is like saying evangelical democrat) decided to start a blog, and some clever jackass had to say, "Hey guys! How about...wait you're gonna love this...how about...BLOG CABIN!" Probably got a friggin standing ovation.

Well, in the spirit of equal opportunity, this straight democrat is keeping her blog name for now.

Unless somebody comes up with something better.

If it take all night long...


Question: Danielle, how do I have fun in traffic on the way to work?

Answer: You don't. Traffic blows.

But if you want to prolong your inevitable trip to the loony-bin, listen to Sam Cooke. If I have any wisdom to share with you today, and I probably don't, this is it. I recommend Good Times